Hilde Adler is a repeat client with Modern Memoirs. Her first book, a memoir entitled The Way It Was: not so long ago in a country not so far away, came out in 2011 and underwent several subsequent editions and reprints. It took eight months from the day Adler first contacted us to the day the books arrived on her doorstep.
The second book, entitled I Am Not Old Enough: The Twenty-seven Stages of Adjustment to Living in a Retirement Community, was published in 2019. It took only two and a half months to publish, and Adler opted for print-on-demand service with global distribution, which has allowed her to personally sell many copies. (Interested readers can purchase copies at this link.) We asked the author to reflect on what the publication process was like for her, and what it has meant to share her books with others.
1. Your first book is an account of your family’s life in Germany before you came, as refugees, to the United States at the start of World War II. It features descriptions of your home in Nürnberg, your family members, holidays, school, and some of the events leading up to the war. It briefly covers your family’s departure from Germany and resettlement in the United States, and it includes photographs. In the introduction to the book, you note that hundreds of books have been dedicated to the memory of the Holocaust, but that “hardly anyone thinks about the life of Germany’s Jews before Hitler.” What inspired you to write this memoir, to do this sort of remembering? For whom did you write it?
Hilde Adler: Because of my own history, I’ve done a lot of reading about the 2,000-year history of the Jews in Europe, and have come to understand how remarkable Jewish life was in Germany in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. My family inherited this life; they felt totally German, totally integrated into the society and completely immersed in the German culture. I wrote this book because I wanted my friends and my very scattered-around-the-world family not only to honor and remember the tragedies and lives lost in the Holocaust, but also to understand something about the amazing, productive life that Germany’s Jews created and lived, and that came to end because of the Nazis. I wanted to honor my parents and their whole generation.
2. People often talk about the role of objects in memory. In The Way It Was, you describe how your family lost most of their possessions and heirlooms when they were either destroyed during Kristallnacht, stolen by the Nazis, or sunken on a ship that was bombed. How has writing your memoir helped you think about your relationship with objects, and family mementos in particular?
Hilde Adler: Interesting that you should ask this, because for some years now, I’ve been trying to finish a manuscript about how things that once belonged to our parents or grandparents, or others in those generations, connect us to our family history! I do have some mementos, courtesy of my grandmother, who left Germany earlier than we did and managed to get some things out. And for the last 83 years, a little black toy dog, which my parents gave me the day we left to replace my real little black dog who had to stay behind, has lived on my bedroom dresser no matter where I’ve lived! The connection of these things to the past is palpable.
3. Your second book is completely different from the first. It’s a humorous look at the evolution of your feelings about moving into a retirement community, documenting how you hated leaving your old home, yet came to love your new one. This book is written in two voices, one you call “normal blathering me” and the other, your “reality check” voice, and it includes cartoon drawings. Besides wanting to describe what life is like in a retirement community, why was it important to you to write this book?
Hilde Adler: After we moved to the retirement community, our former neighbors and other friends constantly wanted to talk about our move. I was always trying to convey that this move was not as tragic as they perceived it. The conversation happened so often that eventually I made a list, and the book grew out of that. The stages as well as the voices are real and universal. We’d all rather deny that we’re old enough for this adventure, but at the same time we all know better. I thought if I was honest, people could relate and would believe me.
4. As widely different as these two books are, they share some surprising themes. One is the meaning of home. How has writing helped you come to a better understanding of the meaning and creation of home?
Hilde Adler: I’m actually fairly obsessed with the concept of home, probably because I don’t have one. I bring it up in conversations when I can, trying to understand how others perceive “home.” At age 10, I lost what I thought was home (although it wasn’t! They would have killed me!). Writing revives some memories. But I’ve never found “home.”
5. Another related theme is the question of belonging. In fact, in both books you repeat the same question, noting that even “in the midst of beloved people” and even when you were enveloped in perfectly enjoyable surroundings, you sometimes found yourself asking, “What am I doing here?” How has writing helped you reflect on these complicated feelings about community and belonging?
Hilde Adler: This is not related to writing for me. It has to do with the immigrant experience, which is different for those who come to another place for a better life than for those who are fleeing persecution. Even though I seem to have lived a “perfect, typical American girl” sort of life, I think subconsciously I’ve always been a displaced person! A realization that there is no shared history with anyone around surfaces at unexpected times and can cause a feeling of profound isolation. You “wanna go home now,” but there’s no place to go! It is what it is.
Interested in reading more? Readers can purchase Hilde Adler’s second book at the link below: