Tucker H. Byrd published his book entitled “No Excuses” Love, Dad with Modern Memoirs in 2023. This collection of daily notes to his young son took just two months from the day we started the project to the day books arrived on his doorstep. We asked Byrd to reflect on what the publication process was like for him, and what it has meant to share his book with others.
1. Your book is a compilation of the 170 inspirational notes—colorfully handwritten on index cards—that you slipped into the backpack of your son every day during his fourth-grade year (2019–2020). What was your intention in giving these notes to your son, and why did you choose that year of his life to do so? How does the phrase you chose for the title, “No Excuses / Love, Dad” serve as a touchstone for the whole collection?
Tucker Byrd: I wish I could say I started with a grandiose plan to write a year’s worth of inspirational notes as a defining statement of love for my son and bind them in a glitzy book from a high-quality publisher. The truth is, I wrote one note to give him affirmation and encouragement as he began fourth grade, a time of personal and physical growth that is often a transitional year into “big” school learning. I wrote one note, then another, then another, and soon I had established a certain love language with my son, which continued for months. Toward the end, it had become such a ritual, that I had to press on, even as COVID descended upon all of us, requiring my son to be homeschooled for the last 6 weeks of the school year. The title, “No Excuses” Love, Dad was born from all this. “No Excuses,” which I wrote on all the notecards, is the West Point motto, and it speaks to taking responsibility, regardless of the commitment required, obstacles faced, or outcome. The phrase “Love, Dad” came from the heart. Together these phrases express the challenges all parents face in shaping a child and teaching them to be accountable, while loving them regardless of their struggles, or even failures.
2. What was your goal in assembling the cards into a book instead of simply filing the loose notes away in a shoebox, or otherwise preserving them? Whom did you intend the readers to be, in addition to your son?
Tucker Byrd: The notes sat in a box for years, and I would pull them out periodically. Each card was written during a particular phase of my son’s life, and to be honest, bringing those memories back years later when I reread the cards would often make me tear up! Finally, I thought it would be nice to pull them all together in a book, which led me to Modern Memoirs. What you created for me far exceeded what I could have imagined. I had not intended to share it with many others, but the responses I got from people who heard about the project touched me. They seemed to derive some special meaning on their own about parenting, growing up, and encouraging one another.
3. What can you say about the design of the book and how it helped you achieve your goals in publishing it?
Tucker Byrd: The design and formatting were A+. Modern Memoirs made this book an art piece that now sits on my law-office table. People are fascinated by the book, which is more than a bit humbling because it started as such a private expression to my son.
4. You first contacted us more than two and a half years before deciding to launch the project. What motivated you to finally publish it when you did, and what compelled you to keep the project moving along so quickly to complete it in just two months?
“I never expected it to touch others, particularly those who are not family members. I wrote what I felt to let my son know that he is not walking his life path alone.”
Tucker Byrd: I did get off to a slow start, but to be honest, it was the reception I got from Modern Memoirs that finally pushed me to act. The staff could have said, “This is ‘cheesy,’” like watching someone else’s home videos; but their words of encouragement, especially from Director of Publishing Ali de Groot, did it for me. Once we began, I knew we were late in the year to get things done in time for the holidays, but Modern Memoirs put the wheels in motion to make this a special holiday gift for my son and family.
5. Can you share a little bit about others’ responses to the book, and especially how your son received it? What do you hope he will get from the book as the years go by and he reaches adulthood?
Tucker Byrd: Many read it and cried, which made me cry. I never expected it to touch others, particularly those who are not family members. I wrote what I felt to let my son know that he is not walking his life path alone. Now 13 and very much a teenager, I don’t think my son can be reasonably expected to think that what his dad said or wrote is cool. He likely will only fully embrace the book years from now, perhaps when he has his own child. Maybe then he will write a sequel about being a parent himself, calling it Becoming a New Parent: What Do You Know? My Dad May Have Been Right All Along!
Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs.