Or, Why Genealogy Is Helpful
It’s a bit of a thrill when a daughter or son one day, seemingly out of the blue, takes an interest in family history, maybe asks you a little question like “Mama, where did this ring come from?”
I gave my daughter the ring over ten years ago. It was handed down to me by my grandmother over thirty years ago, and I don’t remember what she said about its origins. I probably wasn’t interested! For decades the ring sat in my jewelry box, a mystery.
It’s a very thin, unassuming band of what looks like silver with a delicate filagree pattern on the outside, and if you look very closely, you’ll see an engraving on the inside as well. OEM and MWW Apr 29, 1925.
My daughter read the initials in the engraving and of course asked who the people were. I had no clue. Luckily I remembered that I have a bunch of loose papers that serve as a family tree in the top drawer of an old dresser nobody uses. Someone on my grandmother’s side had taken the time decades ago to type out the names, birth dates, death dates, etc., etc., and here I had inherited a copy of a copy of a copy of it. We pored over the pages, trying to find the initials OEM or MWW somewhere in the seeming chaos of unfamiliar names covering six generations. After a while, we did find two names that matched the initials, with a marriage date of April 29, 1925. It was a wedding band! But who was this couple and how were they related to us? We carefully analyzed and traced the relationships to see how these two fit into my grandmother’s line. It didn’t take long to figure out that MWW was a first cousin to my grandmother.
I still have to wonder why my grandmother had her cousin’s wedding ring. I can only speculate. But reviewing the information on these worn pages led to a spontaneous exercise of attempting to memorize the key names in our matrilineal heritage, back to the 1800s. We found, not surprisingly, that there were frequent repetitions of names through the generations. Also, women often gave their maiden name as a middle name to their daughters (or sons). This seemed an interesting way for the family names, whether first, middle, or last, to be remembered down the generations. Of course I knew about this custom already, but it was noteworthy to see it spelled out in front of us.
My daughter has a sharp memory, and within a short time she could recite each couple’s names on her maternal side all the way back to the first couple on the list.
What would I have done without this family tree? The names and people would be lost over time. I feel happy and fortunate to have these pages in my possession, and they serve as a clear map back to my foremothers and forefathers.
Is there importance in holding on to the names? Yes! After all, they are not only names (and dates), but clues to entire life stories that are waiting to be investigated and shared. It does feel good to me to see these names, even though I’ve never thought or cared about whether someone will have my name in the future. It is nice to know that my daughter’s middle name is not only my late mother’s first name, but also my grandmother’s, great-grand-aunt’s, and great-great-grandmother’s first name. And so, we remember these women, forming links in a chain—like interconnected rings—joining the past and present.
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Ali de Groot is director of publishing for Modern Memoirs, Inc.